50 Shades of Frustration
I used to say there is nothing as dangerous as a frustrated author. I should know, because I used to be one. I could barely stand to hear about someone who had had their book published, it would send...
View ArticleEat cheese, drink wine and lose weight…
It is a well-known fact that French women don’t like the gym. In fact, they would rather do anything than go to a gym, including, as with one woman I interviewed once, not eating croissants for over 30...
View ArticleWhat I did in my holidays
I remember when I was at school we used to have to write an essay at the beginning of term about our summer holidays. I could never really think about much to write, except of course for the summer...
View ArticleWhat you should be reading instead of 50 Shades of Grey
A couple of weeks ago I ranted on about what not to read, namely 50 Shades of Drivel. Meaningless, humourless, trite, sentimental and badly written. I have just finished a book that is the exact...
View ArticleBig children, big problems
When Olivia was about five, she came rushing into my office one evening. “Mummy,” she said, gesticulating wildly. “There’s a big, big problem. I dropped the torch and Bea’s got blood.” This was no...
View ArticleI want a six-pack
Earlier this week I was chatting to one of the trainers at my gym about six-packs. “I hate this flab,” I told him, grabbing my mid-riff. “I want it gone. I want a six-pack like Fernando Torres.” “If...
View ArticleI can drive!
When I was 18 years old I had a friend called Tim who owned a Porsche. It was a white 911 Carrera. Gorgeous. One day I told my friend that I missed my mother. She was living in Sweden at … Continue...
View ArticleGood Housekeeping Column September 2012
Before moving to the UAE we lived in France. I didn’t make many friends, French women are notoriously difficult to make friends with, but those friends I did have spent most of the summer talking about...
View ArticleAngst, what angst?
I hated being a teenager. I was utterly angst-ridden. Not so much in the existentialist ‘why am I here?’ department, but just about everything else. I was too skinny, too foreign (at the time...
View ArticleAnyone for (children’s) tennis? No thanks
“This is not Wimbledon,” the organiser told the assembled 20 or so children and their parents. “It’s just a fun day out.” We all listened, but no one took any notice. “It’s just a game,” he added...
View ArticleUnacustomed as I am to public speaking…
Tomorrow I have a terrifying task to perform. At 2pm I am to stand up in front of the WHOLE of Leo’s year at school and give a speech about what it’s like being a journalist. Nothing, not even my …...
View ArticleAll I want for my birthday…
Tomorrow is my birthday. There is always a lot of pressure to enjoy one’s birthday, to have a perfect day doing whatever you want to do, so I am slightly panicking and wondering what on earth to do....
View ArticleAnyone for Christmas spirit?
As I write, Bea and Leonardo are on the balcony, playing cards and singing along to Christmas songs. Every day I am told exactly how many days remain until the big event. Every few minutes they check...
View ArticleLawyers, orphans and the pathetic Mr Putin
Several years ago,when I was still editing the magazine Central European (a must-read) I used to travel to Russia every few weeks to write a supplement we ran called Russiamoney. This was back in the...
View ArticleIn search of a school……
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a middle-class mother in possession of daughters must be in want of a school. Or at least an expat middle-class mother who is utterly horrified at the level...
View ArticleChange is good…I hope
Change is good I keep telling myself, as I lie awake at 3am most mornings contemplating the magnitude of the plans we have. In April Leo goes off to boarding school in Surrey. All being well, the girls...
View ArticleThe French role model (again)
Just after Christmas we went to a party at the home of a French family we are quite friendly with. Like us, they have three children aged between nine and 13. Unlike us, these children look and behave...
View ArticleThe business of selling books
A few days ago I sent my latest novel to my publisher. The last thing I write is the dedication and then off it goes, no longer just something sitting on my laptop, but going out into the world, almost...
View ArticleComa, what coma?
It all started with an email entitled ‘worried’ from my mother. No one had heard anything from my father for two days. “He’s not answering the door, or the phone,” she wrote. “The lady who lives below...
View ArticleThe case of the barking parrot
One of the things I hate about France is barking dogs. It seems that wherever you go, even somewhere as isolated as Sainte Cecile, you will hear some poor dog yapping in the distance. If you live in a...
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